To Leave or Not to Leave

Follow Your Heart?

Really?  This cliche always seemed enigmatic.  I teach because it's in my bones.  It's a part of me like breathing.  I never thought I had to look to my "heart" to decide what I wanted to do with my life.  I always knew.

I get it now.

Not long ago, I was given the opportunity to leave the classroom again.  It was a fabulous offer and I know that I would have loved it.  I would have loved my colleagues and the opportunity to work with teachers again at the district level.  I was flattered that a district outside of my own would want ME (of all people) to work with them.

I turned it down.

I know that some people would probably think that I am crazy. A higher level position, better benefits, no papers to grade...

Sigh.

I want to stay with kids.

It's sad sometimes that a lot of the most passionate classroom teachers end up leaving for other positions.  But I understand why.  Classroom teaching is exhausting.  Sometimes I want to die when I see the stack of papers to grade or when I realize that I will be spending my entire Saturday at school because I am not even close to being ready for the next week.

Also, working at a district level or higher allows us to impact children on a broader scale.  Sometimes we have a calling to work with education at a more global level.  I know this. 

But I love teaching kids.  I love being able to connect kids with books and authors.  I love helping kids develop agency.  I love watching them become empowered.  I love modeling for them that it's o.k. to be completely and utterly nerdy.

I can't do these things outside the classroom.  I mean, I could.  But it's just not the same.  We adults come with so much baggage.  (I know because I carry the baggage in my luggage cart, too.)  It's not nearly as fun to be a passionate and ridiculous dork in front of adults as it is with kids.

Last week, three of my former students came to see me again.  They are in college, they are amazing kids, and I would be lying if I said this didn't impact my decision to stay. Leaving the classroom would mean no more visits like this.  And yes, these kids are awesome, even though they make fun of how many Instagram followers I have.  (Thanks a lot, TW and CC.)

They let me know that I need more Instagram followers.

Sometimes I wonder why, in education, does it seem like we always must move up, up, up the professional ladder?  Why is staying in the classroom with children not something you do when you are successful?  I need to push back on that thinking.

This decision was hard.  I didn't sleep for a few nights, sure.  But I chose to follow that "heart" voice, wherever it may be coming from.  I chose the little people, who really aren't that much different than us adults.  In fact, maybe experience and size are our only differences?

So thanks, Heart.  Now that I know how you sound, I will listen for you.